Louisa Strothman
Excerpt from “Whose Despair?”
SCENE 6: 1975
Lights up. A stoop in Brooklyn. Henrietta enters as Mara steps out of the doorway. She is holding a bag containing scraps of bread and other leavened foods. Henrietta laughs as she watches Mara walk down the steps.
HENRIETTA
What in the world are you doing with those?
MARA
I’m bringing them to the fire.
HENRIETTA
Fire?
MARA
Didn’t you see, over on Herkimer? We’re burning the bread.
HENRIETTA
What on earth for?
MARA
It’s almost time for Passover.
HENRIETTA
I see, I see. If you have any more o’ that bread left over, I’m not planning on not eating bread and I have twelve mouths to feed this Sunday.
MARA
You have your traditions, we have ours. Although feeding twelve mouths is a tradition I’m familiar with.
HENRIETTA
It’s funny to imagine you around your fires. You seen this city recently?
MARA
I know, I know. Fires in the street. Ghosts of buildings.
HENRIETTA
And then you all? Still praying over the chaos. Adding to it.
MARA
Our fires are older than the fires in our streets.
HENRIETTA
It looks like a lot of the same.
MARA
History. The fires around this city are the same decay that has destroyed a thousand cities. Our neighborhood now. Berlin before that. My Kiev before that and before that and before that, Jerusalem. This is the fire of destroying.
HENRIETTA
And what does your fire come from?
MARA
We come from the burning bush. We light fires in the face of our suffering. To send messages. But you see us. We are not destroying anything. It’s a tool. The most human thing is to use a tool.
HENRIETTA
The most human thing is to love.
MARA
To protect.
HENRIETTA
To communicate.
MARA
And fire helps us do all of that.
HENRIETTA
It’s dangerous too. Haven’t you heard?
MARA
You can use a tool to kill, too.
HENRIETTA
I know it. I sure as hell know it. Lord.
MARA
Do you light a candle for your husband?
HENRIETTA
Sometimes. Some days I wake up and he’s singing to me. So I leave early for work to stop by the church.
MARA
How’s Isaiah doing?
HENRIETTA
Oh I worry, but you know. You see’m.
MARA
He’s growing up.
HENRIETTA
It’s true. I don’t see’m enough.
MARA
You do the best you can. You have to support your family. He loves you.
Mara hands the bread to Henrietta and walks down the steps and exits. Henrietta looks down at the bread and sighs. She enters the doorway.
SCENE 7: 1980
Outside, same stoop. The sun has just risen over the brownstones and illuminates the stoop.
Lights up. Mara sits with her head in her hands. She occasionally looks up and prays. Henrietta enters. Mara abruptly rises and grabs the railing. Henrietta keeps her distance.
MARA
Do you have news for me? Never mind, I can’t even look at you. Your damn bloody goy of a son!
HENRIETTA
Mara, I had the same night you did. This is no time—
MARA
No, I don’t want to hear it. He corrupted my Chava. She didn’t know what she was doing—
HENRIETTA
Excuse me?
MARA
You heard me. I knew the first time I saw them together. It’s not good for our people to mix with others. I told Chava. But she said, “no, it’s different tante.”1 and I thought because he was your son—
HENRIETTA
Mara, are you saying you think—
MARA
All I’m saying is before my niece got mixed up with your son, she never got arrested. She was a good girl!
HENRIETTA
Isaiah is a good boy.
MARA
That’s quite a statement after tonight!
HENRIETTA
Isaiah messed up. And so did Chava. But it ain’t their fault. Either of them. And for the record, Chava was the one holding the pipe when they got picked up.
MARA
Because that boy handed it to her!
HENRIETTA
I know Isaiah, and he would never force her to do anything. He said he loves her.
MARA
Well he should know it’ll never work out. Now my husband’s involved. And her father. You know she could never marry a goy, let alone a—
HENRIETTA
You want to finish that sentence?
MARA
Ai, Henrietta, it’s not you. We don’t mix with others. Black or white. Even other Jews. If they’re not Orthodox, they’re not for us.
HENRIETTA
Mara, you just said, “let alone.”
MARA
What am I supposed to tell you? I’ve seen your boy in the streets with the others. And you see what those boys grow up into? Maybe it’s not his fault, but I can’t have him bringing my Chava among them. She’s already confused.
HENRIETTA
How many times has Isaiah stayed at your house when I’m working late? He says “please” and “thank you.” He eats everything on his plate. He’s not just in love with Chava. He’s crazy about all of you. Yes, I let him hang out with those boys, but I know them. They’re just scared. They’re children. They’re messing up sometimes. Chava is no different.
MARA
She’s never messed up—
HENRIETTA
The difference is she is white.
Henrietta sinks to the ground.
HENRIETTA
Do you know what they said when I went down to the precinct as I watched Chava go home with your son? I watched your brother-in-law fight for her and then her run into his arms. I yelled. I begged. But they laughed in my face. He’s already been bussed off to Rikers. That godforsaken island. Because they took him before they knew the crime. And you don’t have to worry about him coming around Chava. If the prosecutor has his way, Isaiah is gonna be in there for a long time. He’s 16, so they’ll try him as an adult.
MARA
Henri, I—I’m a selfish woman.
HENRIETTA
You think that matters?
MARA
No, I just—I didn’t think.
HENRIETTA
He’ll go behind bars for the rest of my life. Always metal between us.
MARA
You can’t go home tonight. Not to that empty home. You want to sleep in Lev’s room?
HENRIETTA
I won’t be alone tonight.
MARA
Oh.
HENRIETTA
Yes. I may have lost my heart, but I still have my family. My people show up when we are hurting. The same way yours do.
MARA
Oh Henri. Of course they do. Ohh Henri. I’ll make him my knish to bring with you when you visit him.
HENRIETTA
You think I can bring anything in? You think my boy’s ever going to taste my hominy bread and baked beans or my pecan pie?
MARA
They don’t let you send food?
HENRIETTA
He’s going to prison.
MARA
Oh Henri.
Henrietta moans moving her head between her hands and the sky. Mara struggles to kneel down next to her. Music fades in as Henrietta’s moans get quieter.
Lights down.
1. Yiddish: aunt↩