Sometimes it may seem like there aren’t enough hours in the day, especially when you hate your job and have way too many goals to accomplish. When working a 9-5, you might feel like those eight hours could be better spent on the toilet, when you should be pushing yourself closer to things you actually care about. You can’t quit because homelessness sucks and your Seamless addiction doesn’t pay for itself. Yet, here you are tired of working this soul-crushing job looking for a way out. Here are a couple of tips to stop your brain from exploding while you slave away to pay the rent:
- Create a to do list for all your goals, along with those meaningless tasks you have to complete for work. Distribute your time to fit your needs and keep in mind any deadlines that have to be met. You don’t want to get caught in the bathroom stall with your pants down, playing Mario Kart on your Nintendo DS when you should have been ordering office supplies. You can either create a daily list or map out the week, see what works best for you.
- If your job allows it, watch videos or listen to audiobooks that have nothing to do with work and everything to do with you. For example, if you love Yankee Candles and want to be the next Michael Kittredge, watch a documentary on your favorite candle artist or listen to an audiobook about the different types of wax techniques. Point being: Do something you enjoy that benefits you while you do the work you can’t avoid.
- If your job requires you to work with a team, make sure people notice you participating. Nod your head as people talk, frequently. This will make them think you are actually paying attention, but most importantly they will think you agree with them. Most importantly, they will believe you think they are smart, and that will mean the world to them. Next, when it seems someone has made a favorable suggestion, jump in and scream, “Yes! That’s exactly what I was thinking,” and then paraphrase everything the person said. Disclaimer: This may require you to pay attention at times.
- Lunch wisely. Work on the things that are too obvious to do while on the clock, and then make them even more obvious. Don’t wear headphones, and bring in a portable projector so that everyone can see what you are doing. If for some reason you do not own a portable projector, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t, so think about investing in one.
Do keep in mind that you still have to do your job, sometimes. If you didn’t need it, you wouldn’t be there. Instead you would be sipping piña coladas by the pool, sitting next to your sugar daddy or mama.